Nigerian dance queen and fitness coach, Kafayat Shafau, better known as Kaffy, has revealed that being a single mother has made her love life more complicated than she ever imagined.
The award-winning choreographer, who is divorced and raising two children, spoke candidly about her struggles during a recent appearance on “The Honest Bunch” podcast, monitored by Persecondnews.
According to her, many men see single mothers as undesirable partners.
Sharing her personal experience, Kaffy recounted how a man once told her point-blank that he can never date her simply because she already had children.
The revelation, she said, left her reflecting on how society continues to stigmatize women who have been married before.
“I have had someone tell me, ‘Because you are a single mother with two children, I cannot think of dating you,’” she said.
“It made me wonder why people feel divorce or children automatically make you a lesser option.”
The dancer, however, argued that being divorced and a mother does not diminish a woman’s worth.
Instead, she believes women who have been through difficult marriages and learnt valuable lessons could make even better partners if given the chance.
“What makes you think a woman who has been divorced is not a better candidate if she has worked on herself? Many of us have gone through the fire and come out stronger,” Kaffy said.
She also questioned the widespread obsession with marrying a partner “fresh,” insisting that no one can guarantee what the future holds.
“Two people who marry today as singles could easily end up divorced tomorrow. So why act as if single mothers are damaged goods?” she asked.
Drawing from her own experience, Kaffy stressed that raising two children alone has shaped her perspective about life, love, and resilience.
For her, it is not a setback but part of the growth that makes her the woman she is today.
Beyond marriage, the dancer also reflected on how people define love.
She noted that many confuse butterflies in the stomach with genuine affection, when in reality, those feelings might just be anxiety.
“Love should bring you peace, not chaos,” she remarked.
Kaffy admitted that her journey as a single mother has not been easy, but she remains grateful for the strength it has built in her.
She emphasized that motherhood is not a burden but a blessing, and any man who cannot see that, is simply not the right person.
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