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Depression was my closest companion, and I attempted suicide, but God delivered me – Tonto Dikeh

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Nollywood actress turned activist, Tonto Dikeh, has opened up about her emotional healing journey, revealing how God delivered her from pain, anger, and depression that once ruled her life.

In a deeply personal reflection shared on social media, the mother of one recounted how rage and emotional pain nearly destroyed her relationships, opportunities, and peace of mind — until divine intervention changed everything.

“Jesus healed me from a rage that once ruled my life,” she wrote.

“I used to have a fuse so short it could ignite a storm. I destroyed relationships, opportunities, and peace without a second thought. My anger was not power; it was pain disguised as control.”

According to Dikeh, her breaking point came when she realised she could no longer keep living under the control of her emotions.

“One day, I broke down and cried out like a child. I was tired of being ruled by my emotions. And El-Roi, the God who sees me, saw me. He didn’t condemn me. He covered me with mercy and healed me completely,” she revealed.

She added that her journey to peace wasn’t because life suddenly became easier, but because she learned to find strength in silence and peace.

“Now I walk lighter. Not because life stopped testing me, but because the Spirit taught me that peace is stronger than rage, and silence can carry more authority than shouting ever could.”

The actress also reflected on her painful past, admitting that she once lived in constant hurt, which led her into depression and even thoughts of suicide.

“I lived in pain, breathed it, and wore it like a second skin. Hurt people truly do hurt people, and I was both the wound and the weapon.

“Depression was my closest companion, and I attempted suicide. But God said, ‘Child, get up.’ And I did weak, trembling, but alive.”

Having experienced that dark phase, Dikeh said she now extends compassion instead of judgment to others who act from a place of pain.

“Now when I see people acting from a place of pain, I don’t judge them. I intercede for them. Because I know what it feels like to lose yourself trying to survive. I also know what it means to be found by grace.”

The actress, who has become more vocal about her Christian faith in recent years, emphasized that her current peace and glow were hard-won through faith and the help of the Holy Spirit.

“If you see me smiling now, living with joy and calmness, please understand that I fought to be here. The Holy Spirit and I worked for this peace. So don’t envy the glow seek the God who lit it.”

Reflecting on her spiritual journey, Dikeh explained that although she gave her life to Christ after secondary school, she didn’t truly value His love until life’s storms forced her to return to Him.

“I gave my life to Christ after secondary school, but I took His love for granted. Life showed me its harshest lessons, and the enemy showed me pain without mercy.

“That was when I ran back to my first Love and that return has been the most beautiful and fulfilling part of my story,” she wrote.

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