'Black is beautiful.' We hear it so often that it must be true. But it is? How often is the phrase, 'White is beautiful' ever utilized in contemporary times? Perhaps somethings are better left unsaid even when the status quo promotes it. Everything in the United States emphasizes the beauty of White Americans particularly that of the most advantaged race of women on earth; White women.
This is by no means the typical article written by a Black woman bashing everything that White women stand for when it comes to beauty, feminism and sexuality. This is simply an expression of the truth and a compilation of experiences of women-both Black and White. As I recall one of my best friends utter the adage, ' "Once you go black you never go back" ' I consider the rationale behind her firm belief in this statement. In the past, I laughed this phrase off as a testament to the virility of Black men all over the world.
Most of the time, this utterance would be followed up by a White friend's personal tale of one late night or recurrent trysts with a man described to be nothing short of Idris Elba or Denzel Washington. While my other Black or African female friends would keep silence in defiance or sheer horror at the vulgarity spoken from this White woman's mouth regarding their own Black 'brothers', I remained intrigued by tales recanted with such passion and desire. My fascination behind these tales had nothing to do with the vulgar or raunchy nature in which they were told. My interests in my White female friend's tales about the Black men that they had dated was more about why they sought out Black men in the first place.
In my mind, I had eventually resolved that they enjoyed the challenge of dating someone vastly different from the Middle America culture that many of my White female friends had grown up in and been limited to prior to becoming independent from their families. Visualize a young White women in her college years encountering a young Black man who has psychologically grown tired of the homogenous environment that he too was raised in. Put these two individuals together and you generate excitement, wonder, and not to mention the thrill of committing a controversial taboo. Risk and adventure fuel most of the experimental bi-racial relationships that I have witnessed between White women and Black men during my college years.
The Black men in these circumstances were commonly called, 'traitors to the race' while the White women were usually granted dubious compliments or derogatory insults (by White men and Black women, alike). However, I don't believe interracial dating to be all that serious or detrimental to the future relationship that one may hold with his or her spouse regardless of what race or ethnic group they descend from. At the risk of offending my Black female audience members, I will say that White women are not after Black men because of any uncontrollable lustful desires or an unquenchable need to be greedy when it comes to their dating pools. Simply put, White women like any other woman wants to explore her surroundings and gain an understanding of various peoples and places. One of the easiest ways that White women find to immerse themselves in a culture they admire is to develop a close and intimate relationship with a member of that ethnic group. This explanation is similar for Black men but specific to African men who have recently travelled to the United States and desire to gain a better understanding of American life.
How can you then blame individuals for their personal preferences in dating at one particular moment or phase in their lives? I honestly do not believe you can. So the next time you would like to place judgement on a bi-racial couple just for existing, consider the fact that world is becoming a smaller place and that many cultures no longer emphasize on the residual stigma of racial superiority nor the need to be forever homogenized or 'racially pure.'
In this modern world, variety has truly become the spice of life especially when it comes to the blending of cultures, ethnic groups and traditions.
- C.C. Wonders